Coworker's Toilet (Sarah's Toilet Again)
by Slave Fart

The whole reason I wrote this is because sometimes it’s just that simple. Sometimes you’re just a toilet and it’s not even special. Sometimes, you just catch and eat a turd and you are, quite literally, a toilet. 

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I want to forget it. I wanted to just forget about being Sarah’s toilet but the truth was I kind of liked it. I hate that I did........

I got home tonight and told Monica about my day and then I heard a laugh I’ve heard before.

Sarah was on our couch drinking beer and Monica was smiling.

Monica said, laughing the whole time, “So what if your day was hard, but could be better?”

“Please...,” it was all I could say.

“Unless it’s please use my mouth as your toilet, I don’t think it’s going to work,” Sarah was crying and laughing.

I went to the bedroom and took off all my clothes.

As I put myself in the toilet box I saw all the revisions we made for the last user. Metal reinforcements and I was reminded again about how pathetic I was.

Sarah came in and said nothing, pulling down her skintight black yoga pants. Her huge ass hung there for a second and she laughed.

“It’s going to stink, I bet.”

She sat down and I saw her asshole move, but nothing happened.

As I sat there I thought about how she saw me at work, someone who had already eaten her shit once. But one time is one thing. Eating shit twice was something different. This can’t be misconstrued as an accident.

There were no farts, just a huge, massive, disgusting turd the size and consistency of a banana that pushed out.

I want to tell you I spit it out. But I ate it.

“There. Now it’s official, toilet.”

And she walked out. I hate myself.