Hookup Toilet
by Slave Fart

This story is real, though dialogue might be off in parts.

I hate Friday weddings. I'm busy as hell and don't like giving up my Friday nights.

But I knew I had to go to this one. Damnit.

I got the invitation and saw it was a Friday, which is annoying already, but I also knew the girl marrying my friend was a cheerleader and dance team member. She knew all the cheer and dance team members and would be inviting some of the girls on the current team from college. Hot, young girls? Yes please.

I don't usually expect to get scat or fart stories from a one night stand that I'm picking up that night, but I guess I'm not usually running into girls like Tara.

Tara is a blonde that was about 5'8" in her heels. Her red dress was so tight against her, it almost looked like a second skin. Her breasts were popping out and her ass stuck out as she walked to her table. I knew she'd be the one I'd go after before I even knew her name.

We both went to the wedding alone, but had a group of friends we knew at the table. People were laughing and enjoying dinner, but I was trying to keep my eye on Tara.

I caught her looking at me during the first dance and she smiled shyly. We did the whole wedding thing and danced together, drank together, and eventually we left together.

She came back to my place and I started a pot of coffee, but then she just lunged at me and we started making out.

"I heard a story about you from one of the girls at the wedding," she said between kisses.

"Oh yeah? What's that?"

She ripped my snap button shirt open, "I heard you like licking assholes."

My dick gave me away and got rock hard in the slim fit suit pants.

"So it's true, then? You'd eat my ass?"

I didn't confirm anything, I simply picked her petite frame that housed the fat ass I desired by her waist and turned her over. She moved with grace and ease to lift up her dress like she were about to sit on a toilet. God I loved the site of her pulling that dress up to reveal she wasn't wearing any underwear.

She sat quickly down onto my mouth and started screaming like she would later when we had sex.


She was moving around and grinding her ass onto my face, which was completely fine by me. I pulled my tongue out and flipped her around and started eating her pussy. She went wild and came on my face, but then she just flipped back around so I was back with my tongue on her asshole.

She let a small fart go and didn't seem to even notice. At this point, I got lost in the moment...

"Yes, Tara! Yes! That's it! Fart in my face! Fart in my fucking mouth! Take a shit! Take a shit right on my face. I want to eat it! I want to eat your shit right here in the kitchen. Use me as your fucking toilet. I'm just your commode. Do it! Take a shit in my mouth!"

She was giving it right back, "Yeah. That's what I'm gonna do! I'm gonna take a fat shit right there! You're a fucking toilet, you little bitch! Eat my shit!"

I'm not sure if she meant to shit right then, but a rather large turd rocketed out of her asshole really fast. It was about a foot long, and I don't ever recall seeing that much poop come out in the blink of an eye. It was rather impressive, really. Tara's long turd was now sitting on my face, over my left eye and a little hanging under my nose.

She turned around and started to laugh and stood over me. She smiled the entire time I laid there, chewing her shit. Eating her turd. She watched me eat most of it, then ran to the bathroom and wiped her ass.

Tara came back into the kitchen and saw my dick standing straight up. She didn't say a word and rode me to completion while pointing her ass at my face and farted a few times.

I think it's funny, because the farts didn't even smell that bad... I still had some of her shit under my nose and could smell that.

We showered together and this morning when I woke up she had made me breakfast. She just took her morning shit on my face and we had sex again before she left. I'm not sure how this will work out since I'm sort of dating someone else and she's also not from the same city as me, but I'm really hoping I get to see Tara again.

Maybe someone else will get married...