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Interview with a True User This is a real interview from a few weeks back... --- Monica truly is the absolute best girlfriend of all time. We work together to create scenarios that will be fulfilling and since we both have the same fetish, it makes it easier to create those scenarios. Recently, she brought in Her friend to use me as Her own personal bathroom for the night. A little further back, she introduced me to someone that neither of us know particularly well, but would get to know a lot more. Ali is middle-to-late-20 something professional in Chicago. She's not my ex that "sold" me to Monica, but she's a gorgeous blonde with a "triangle" mouth with a face that makes you constantly seek approval, though she'll never give it. She's about 5'8"-5'9", smaller boobs (maybe a B cup, but probably an A), and has an insanely toned ass and set of legs. Her dirty blonde hair is shoulder length and falls perfectly to frame her pretty face. She's one of those women you immediately notice when you walk into the room she resides in. Something else about Ali? She almost exclusively shits in the mouths of men. Monica makes a point of talking about Her "past" boyfriends at parties because She likes the thrill of telling stories about men lying helplessly as She sits above them, "victorious", while they pathetically accept "defeat". She explains that when She has a man consuming Her feces they stop being Her boyfriend and She can use them the way She wants. Most of the women She tells are not interested, honestly. Some are disgusted. Few are eager to hear more. Fewer want to try it. Fewer still have already done it. There was a party for a beer drinking group that Monica attends once every so often and about 40 women attended the tapping. It wasn't public, so the beer vendors were able to bring some more of their special reserve type shit. One of those beers was some kind of organic nonsense, but Monica liked the sound of it, so She bellied up to the bar and grabbed one. While She was getting one, She was explaining to Her friend about how Her and i would not turn into User and toilet. "Excuse me," Ali jumped into the conversation, "I'm sorry, but did you say 'human toilet'? Do you mean like a cat using what we use, orrr..." Monica smiled wide, "No! Heavens no! I didn't mean anything weird... I meant shitting in the mouth of another human." I guess everyone erupted at Her joke. The thought of that being normal was too much. And then Ali had something to offer as She and Monica stepped away from the group. "Well I asked because I actually do use human toilets. All the time." Monica asked, "Really?! How often?!" "Literally almost every day. Maybe there's a day or two with a gap in there over the course of a month, but I eat a very strict diet and almost the same fuel every day. So I shit like clockwork. Only change ups are when I have a few beers or decide to get a milkshake, but that's so rare." Monica kept asking questions, fascinated at the idea of someone who shits so much, and then she had an idea. "My boyfriend writes about Users and their toilets all the time... Would you be interested in letting him write about you, kind of like an interview?" Ali was all in and two days later we sat down. It's taken a while to type it up, but here we go... My questions/responses will be in regular, since She is a Mistress, Her responses/questions will be more prominent in bold. --- Thank you for having us over today. Oh, my pleasure. I've honestly talked about this like, I dunno? Twice? Why's that? I'm not telling my girlfriends about this. It's kind of, like, weird, y'know? How do you tell other people that you eat shit, right? Good point. Right? It's kind of nice to chat about it, just kind of air it out. Heh... But yeah, I'm not really telling anyone else about this. It's still weird to me, but at the same time, I'm making money, so whatever. Are you ever thinking about what would happen if someone found out? I don't really think about it that way. It would be more like if I ever get a boyfriend, I'd like... I'd probably stop, for sure. Do you think these guys would hate that? Haha. I think so! Seriously, though, they're like, really, REALLY into eating my shit. It's so fucked. You have been doing this for... Probably a year now, I think? Maybe more? So you've been doing it for a while, but it sounds like you might still be weirded out by it. Oh! I DEFINITELY am. Haha! And it's because it's fucking weird! Like, who WANTS to eat someone else's shit?! There are a LOT of people, trust me. I can see that now, really I can. But, like, I'm still going to think it's weird. So then why do you do it? Part of it is the money. I had a mountain of student debt, but now that is cut WAY down. How much do you charge? So that's kind of the thing, right? I did some research and have kind of figured out that some women charge $500 fucking dollars!! Can you believe that?! I can. I contacted someone and that was their rate. Insane. Well, like, I don't charge that much. I could charge these idiots so much more and make so much more money, but I legit didn't want to do that. I don't advertise or accept people unless they come recommended by one of my current toilets. Is that what you call the people you shit on? Haha. Yeah. Like, that's what they are, right? They are. They are in fact toilets. Well, so are you, so I wouldn't talk down on them if I were you. I almost said I wouldn't shit all over them if I were you, but I'm not you, and like, I really, REALLY do shit all over them. Hahaha. True. True. No, I know I could charge more, but, like, these are now people I feel comfortable enough having around. They each pay me $400 a week, except one pays $500. It's basically $100 per shit. Which, again, like, totally insane. How do they know when you're going to shit on them? The one guy makes it to my apartment every morning, Monday through Friday. Another comes at night, Monday through Thursday. One of them comes on the weekends and will stay in my bathroom Saturday from the morning through to Sunday morning. Are you THAT regular? Oh, like, for sure, yeah. I shit twice a day and, like, you can set your watch to it. Right at 6:45 am and right at 7:45 pm. Every day. Sundays, I might shit a third time if I drank on Saturday, but, like, that's not, like, common, you know? For sure. This has kind of gotten away from me a little. I wanted to start really with how you got started. Do you mind kind of going with that for me? Absolutely. Well, like, it started with a boyfriend. He had mentioned butt and ass licking. I was immediately turned off. I thought that sounded fucking disgusting. We, like, I don't remember what it was, but we made a bet and he won. I remember, like, I remember the sounds, you know? The noise from him literally sucking on my asshole, and while that, like, made me freaked, it was like one of the best things ever. I loved having my ass eaten. I knew from then on he'd be spending a lot of time kissing and licking my ass. It made me go wild. The ass kissing evolved? Hahaha. I bet that's how you started too, then, eh? Yeah, he then asked me to fart and I said no. Over time he asked me to shit in his mouth and I SCREAMED at him that I would not. Like, you know? Why would I fucking do that? Shit on someone. Little did you know. Haha. Yeah, little did I know. So eventually, though, we just weren't getting along. He was so... I dunno, so, like, needy and clingy. I was ready to break up with him. And then out of nowhere he just walks in the room and says, "Ali, we're not working. I'm dumping you." What?! Right?! I said, like, the same thing. I was SO mad. And in that moment I knew I wanted to fucking degrade him. Here's this fucking wannabe shit eater asking me to literally crap in his mouth, and like, HE wants to dump ME?! So you knew how to get back. Oh yeah. And I fucking went for it, too. All out. How so? I'm getting there. Haha. He, like, I don't remember what I said, I think it was like, "Give me a few days to process and then we can talk" or some bullshit. What I was really doing was eating and drinking all the foods I knew that would give me terrible gas and a huge dump. I know my body very well and I know exactly what comes out of my ass whenever I put something in, you know? Like, I knew exactly what to eat. Going for broke, then? Oh yeah, like, absolutely, like... I wanted him to look up at my asshole with his open mouth and dream about a small turd or two, but then when I showed him how much shit I can carry around, he'd be laying there with a couple pounds of shit in his mouth thinking about where he went fucking wrong. And then when his mouth would be full of my shit, I would just fucking walk out. Let one of his roommates find him with my shit all over his friend's face and all over his bed. I played it out in my head over and over. So is that how it went? Sort of... Like, ok, here's the thing. I'm not a bitch! I promise! But to that guy... You were kind of--- I was kind of a bitch. Hahaha. We talked and he said he was convinced because he wanted to find something new and different, which, like, is fine, or whatever. But, no, you're not just fucking breaking up with me! Hahahaha. And then... And then I took a shit on his face! We were fighting and I said, "Let's have break up sex". Well guess who liked that idea a whole lot. I'm guessing he jumped at the opportunity. His clothes were off in, like, two seconds. That was the easy part. The hard part was going to be convincing him to let me tie him up. In the end, he was just insanely willing to do it. I tied him up using a few bag straps, like from a lap top and messenger bags. I tied him up, on his own bed, and then I told him what I was really doing. What did you say? I think it was really mean sounding. This isn't exactly it, but it really was something like, "You've been such a piece of shit, Derek", not his real name, "And I think that you are what you eat. But I know you haven't ever eaten a piece of shit." His eyes went WIDE!!! He was SO excited!!! I mean, who wouldn't be? Hahaha. Shut up, shit eater. Hahaha. So then When he got excited, I took off my pants and showed him my vagina and said, "You will only ever drink the piss out of this pussy ever again," which is SO out of character for me, and then I turned around and pointed my asshole right at his face, "Sniff up my farts first, loser. Then, I'm going to take a shit in your mouth. You're not dumping me. I'm dumping you. And I'm going to do it with a huge, steaming pile of my shit that you are going to fucking eat. You're going to chew and swallow my shit, you fucking loser. You're my fucking toilet, slave." What?! Yeah, I can see you're rock hard now. Hahaha. Damn! Is that real? Yes... Oh man, I'm sure Monica told you, but I'm going to be putting you to the test. She did not. Hahaha! Well then... I'm glad I get to be the one to tell you. Do you like that? Telling someone you're about to shit in their mouth? It's not my favorite, really. I still think it's weird, but I do have to admit there is an intense feeling of power knowing that someone will be your toilet. They cease being a human, if not to the world, at least to themselves for that time period. But to me, you're forever a toilet the second my shit touches your lips. When my shit hangs in the air, before smacking you in the mouth, you won't be a toilet. But then my turds are going to sit on your lips and in your mouth, and you'll be my toilet. For forever and ever and always. I won't speak to you or acknowledge your presence. you will exist on this earth as nothing to Me but a shit eating slave that deserves my contempt. And I will be right to do so. You feel really strongly about it, then? Definitely. You'll be just a toilet in a few hours. Holy shit. Hahaha. Don't get too excited, boy. I still have dinner ahead! You won't be eating that though. What will I be eating? I had my usual breakfast of quinoa, egg whites, yogurt, toast, and oatmeal this morning... But... But what? But I was told that I should try delivering a bigger, smellier load, so I also had some milk with lunch because I'm lactose intolerant. I had a shitty lunch, too. Italian beef, meat makes my farts and shit STINK! And then there was two small tacos. Oh! And a salad! Well, mostly just spinach I just ate the spinach plain, but I legit ate one of these containers of spinach. (She went into the fridge and pulled out a container that had only a handful of spinach left in it. It was a 16 ounce container, which she confirmed was eaten in full around 10 am). Whenever I eat that much spinach, I'm cleaning this bad boy out (She patted her stomach). Um... No, it's ok. Hahaha. You're in for it, though. It will not be pleasant. Anyways, to get back to my ex, I wanted to make him suffer. He wouldn't just smell my farts, I knew that. So I kept farting on him, I swear it was like 30 minutes of just one rip after another. I KEPT farting, and I didn't think it was possible to fart that much, but there I was. Hahaha. He ate some of my farts, smelled some of my farts, tasted some of my farts... Was it enjoyable to fart in his face? I think... Yeah. Yes, I would say so. I liked that more than I like shitting on people. It's really weird to shit on someone, but it was less weird farting on him. Just farting in his face. I want to fart in your face, right now, actually. Can we take a time out here? I don't want to smell this one, it's going to be bad. Do you want it in my mouth or do you want me to smell it? Hahaha. Great question. Take it in your mouth. *She pulls down her jeans, which are hugging her tight ass. I kneel down and watch as she pulls her purple thong with the denim. Her asshole is shaved and I pull her left ass cheek up as she leans over on her right one. My mouth covers her anus and she pushes out a short burst of a BRRRRRPPP. I go to move my head and without a word, she puts her hand on the back of my head, holding me there. She pushes out her asshole again, her sphincter flexing, and then I get a forceful trumpet of a fart that rushes into my mouth, pushing my cheeks out forcing me to swallow. PFFFFARRROUUUUUUUUUUUUUU. It's long, maybe 4 seconds. The taste is ATROCIOUS, but then I smell it as some leaks out and I can barely stand it, but I start sniffing forcefully.* Holy hell, fuck me. Do I feel better. How do you feel? It's really potent. Hahaha! Yes! Good. I don't let toilets touch my ass, but you're not a toilet... Yet... You will be though. Thank you for farting in my mouth. Thank you for letting me eat your fart. Hahaha. You're good! I'll give you that! Ok, but yeah, my ex. I keep getting side tracked. He was laying on his bed, tied up, his face is my fart cushion and it's rancid, but then he started to ask to be untied because it was a LOT of farts over a half hour. I'm talking one a minute. And then they start getting worse and worse. These are tremendously horrid. He says, "Ok, we can stop and have sex, I'm turned on hotter than I've ever been." It pissed me off because he didn't get it yet. So then I sort of stand a little, just enough to look down at him. Just to look in his eyes. What did you see? I saw someone that didn't understand they were about to be a real toilet. What he'd asked for, he was about to fucking get. I squatted again, and he started shouting. "No! No! Please! No! Not this! Not you! I don't want to be your toilet!" I told him, "You are nothing BUT my toilet." And then I started to shit, like, right fucking after that. Like... This was a bad one... It STUNK!!! Wow. And his mouth was open when the turd hit, so I knew it went in his mouth. I knew my shit was just sitting there, and there was literally nothing he could do. I wanted so badly to make him chew and swallow it... But then, like... I don't know how else to put it, but I just UNLOADED all at once. It was probably a 3 or 4 foot long turd. I usually shit like two 4 inch turds? Maybe? Sometimes two 6 inchers. But I'm usually pooping just a normal amount. THIS was a mega shit. You told me about your ex letting go a 5 footer on your face... Yeah, when she dumped me. Yeah, well it was like that. Like... I, like, totally buried him in my shit. You could NOT see his face. How was he reacting? Oh! He was CRYING!!! Like, sobbing and crying. Like, he was retching, too. Like, this toilet bitch was about to be sick. And then after the turd was this, like, not a sludge, but like... Like soft serve. It covered the rest of his face. Whoa... Yeah, and then I stood up and he started thrashing, spilling my shit ALL over his room. His bed, his pillows, his floor, his carpet, his walls. My shit was all over and he was trying to escape from it. I couldn't stop laughing. And then, like, he just started to puke EVERYWHERE!!! How cruel! I didn't fucking care. Whatever. He was my toilet at that point. I'll do whatever I want with him. And then I stood up and shut the door behind me. You left?! I went into the bathroom, wiped, opened his bedroom door, threw my shit covered toilet paper at him, and left... What the fuck?! Hahaha! I know! I just had this switch flipped where I WANTED to be as cruel as I could. Was that it, then? No!!! You know it wasn't, but I get it, for the readers. Like, I ended up getting texted by him incessantly for me to do it again. He told me he wouldn't be my boyfriend, he would be my slave and clean my house, all for the reward of eating my shit. What a reward, right? I think it is. Hahaha. Shut up. Like, no, for real. He wanted to be an actual slave. He said he'd give me half his paycheck, and then lightbulb: I could shit in people's mouths for money. And thus began the search? It was no search. I told him he would pay me $300 per week and he'd get to eat my morning dumps. I told him I didn't want him around other than that. So we started with him getting shit on in the morning. But, like, he was terrible at eating my shit. He'd spit it up and throw up. I didn't want to have to have him keep cleaning it so often. He told me he met another guy that was into this and I asked for his number for my evening shit, but the reality was that I had grown accustomed to the money and wanted to see if this other guy would pay me. And then you called him. And then he called me. He said his roommate found him and untied him. They made him move out after he said I was crazy. They didn't want me around. He bounced around for a few months, landed in a new place and then he called a few months later. He told me he wanted to pay $500 per week. Per WEEK!!! I had him come over at the same time as my ex and I had him watch as I turned the new guy into my toilet. It wasn't a big or huge load, just a regular one, but he watched with tears in his eyes. And then I told him he couldn't be my toilet anymore. Whoa... That had to be humiliating. It was. I still bring him around every now and then just to shit on him. I found out later that he cheated, and whenever I get really angry about it, I just call him up to come get shit on. I know he enjoys it, but I just have to try enjoying it more. There is a weird pleasure in making someone who cheated on you eat your shit, no matter what anyone says. Wow. Yeah, so from there, I asked the guy about other shit eaters. I've never changed his rate and the other two sort of came along in time. One is more recent and I lost another toilet in there. I found out because the guy before who was serving as my toilet, like, he was engaged and then he just stopped one day. I texted and he said he had to stop because he was now married. Whoops! Yeah, whoops. Hahaha. I didn't fucking care. Whatever. Come eat my shit or not, loser. Are these guys eating it? Yeah, all three do. I heard you eat it, but then throw it up later a lot. So maybe they do the same. Yeah, my body doesn't want to eat a lot of shit. And yet... Ha... Yeah... Anyways, what was your next question? Sorry, yeah... Ummm... Tell me about your dump size. I know you- Yeah, I said before, it's usually just a couple of turds or one big turd. It just depends. I eat pretty much the same meal for each meal, so it's really consistent. I think the most I've ever shit on someone was after a night of drinking and eating a shitty dinner and then a shitty breakfast. The guy came over on Sunday morning, this is my old toilet, he came over on Sunday morning and then smelled like two hours of rancid beer farts. It was awful for him, I'm sure. Then I shit on him and it was this sludge type of dung that just covered him. He wanted to try eating it all, so I left him there. Like an hour later, I had another load, like, and then I told him, "You better be ready for round two." Oh my god, he flipped over and my shit was caked on, it was hilarious. I sat over him and, no joke, like, probably 6 feet of a thick turd snaked out of my asshole so slowly. It just kept going and breaking off, but it was this soft turd that wouldn't stop. It kept plopping down and making this sickening slapping sound. Oh my god... Yeah! There was just this never ending dump. And it was FOUL, too. Like, he thought he was done with the sludge. Did he eat it all? Hell no! You'd have to be insane to even try eating that much shit, like, how could you even try? I would give it a go. Yeah, with that fat chick? The one with legendary dumps? Corrin! Monica told you about her?! *Monica is in the room with us, and says she did* Yeah, she has huge dumps. It takes me several hours usually to get through one. Well I'm shooting for a big one too, but I don't know if I'll lose 10 pounds over it. Here, look. *Ali lifts up her shirt and I see her tummy bulging. It's normally a very tight stomach, but this is noticeably larger.* Uh oh... Hahaha. Yeah, uh oh is right. What's it feel like when you're sitting above someone new? Someone who doesn't know what it's like being your toilet? I don't feel much other than, like, some power. It's a strange feeling, though, to be certain. Is there anything you want to say to women thinking about doing it? Sure. Try it once. It's not for everyone, but try it once. If someone is dumb enough to let you shit in their mouth, give it a shot. You might like it, and hell, you might even make a few bucks out of the deal. It's gross, though. Know that. Know that there is a ton of clean up. It is MESSY!!! Especially with someone who doesn't eat it or can't eat it right. Are you looking for more toilets? No, and I never will be. I will never, ever, ever, ever go online for this. To be my toilet, you'll have to hope one of the current idiots that eat my shit stops doing so and replaces themselves with you. But they're all pretty content right now. Will you ever stop? Definitely. If I ever find a man that's worth settling down for, the second they're my boyfriend and not just some guy I'm banging, the toilets are gone. It's not, like, a major part of my identity and I don't hold onto the idea that this is something I like. I'm not like Monica. She really enjoys the idea of being a User and a Master, whereas I'm more into the cash. Will you ever do anything other than this transaction? That of User and toilet? Mistress and slave? No. I like the rules I have in place. These guys come over, lay down, I shit, they eat, they clean up my place, they clean up themselves, they leave. It's easy. It's very impersonal to me and I make cash. Thank you very much for being so candid about this. Sure thing. Now... We're probably an hour away, so, go get in position, future toilet. --- Without another word to me, Ali points to Her bathroom. Monica goes with me and watches me undress. She sits on my face with Her pussy and i bring Her to orgasm. It's quick work and I wipe Her juices from my face as i lay back down under Ali's camping toilet. There's a tarp on the ground that the slaves are responsible for cleaning afterwards. It's about 20 minutes until 7:45 and i hear Them laughing outside the door. i can't make out the words, but the laughing stops a few minutes later. "See what I was saying," Ali shows me Her phone and it reads 7:43 pm, "Like clock work." Ali pulls down Her jeans and sits above me again. Her ass cheeks spread on the seat and She adjusts so Her asshole is unobstructed from the cheeks. A monstrous fart rolls out of Her ass, deep and bassy and rotten. BLAAPPPPPRRRRROUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU i can feel the heat of Her gas and the stench overwhelms me. I cough. "Hooo boy... If that fart makes you cough, wait until you get a load of... THIS!" She wasted no time as Her asshole expanded and dropped very long, very thick, VERY dense 9 inch turd that plopped directly into my mouth and stuck straight up. I caught it with my molars and then it started to slowly droop backwards onto my cheek. It wasn't a warm turd, it was a HOT turd... It smelled exactly like lactose intolerant farts and shit usually smell, but those are usually a lot runnier. Another small fart pushed out silently, but then immediately, without the fart stopping, the next turd began pushing out and it was a BEAST!!! There's a video of a woman shitting in a cut out white plastic patio chair, Her shit comes in a single two and a half or three foot turd that's light brown. I swear on my life, Ali let this exact same turd. Slick and smooth, light brown, long, thick and foul. It plopped down and spread across my face, hiding me from the world. I started to eat, but could not fast enough to create airways for me. I had to turn my head and let the pile hit the tarp. Ali started laughing as she began pissing on my face. I felt Her urine on the back of my neck as i turned over to eat Her shit. She wiped and left. Just like She said She normally does... i can't say for sure if She enjoyed it, but i sat there and tried eating the entire load. Eventually, i got most of it down and cleaned up both the place and my face. When we went to leave, She hugged Monica and didn't so much as look me in the eye. i said, "Goodbye." and She didn't even respond. "you'll be my toilet. For forever and ever and always. I won't speak to you or acknowledge your presence. you will exist on this earth as nothing to Me but a shit eating slave that deserves my contempt. And I will be right to do so." You know what? i think She's on to something... |
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