The Breakup
by NotAboveTheRim

“Rumors of my demise have been greatly exaggerated…”
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I lost my job today babe
I looked at my last text again. That had to be the twentieth time I’d looked at the damn thing. This time, just like the last, I was disappointed to see that she hadn’t written back. Convinced that my job isn't the only thing I’d lost today, I ordered another beer and pound it back.
Earlier, Abby and I had another fight, though I’m not sure another is the best word. It seems like since we made things official there’s been this constant hostility. So if I hadn’t fucked things up this morning, this job situation definitely took care of that.
I had been at the bar since I got the news. They gave me a box, told me to pack my things and had me escorted from the building. I had never been so embarrassed in my life. Being led down a hallway by a very butch woman while everybody whispers and wonders what you’ve done to deserve the boot is not how I envisioned things going when I screamed at Abby that I didn't need her. That I could handle things myself.
There I was though, sitting drunkenly at the bar at 2pm on a Tuesday, scanning the room realizing that the only people there were as fucked up as me, if not more. I guess I could either have found solace in that or in the beer I chugged. Either way, I still felt like shit.
With a burp and a groan, I stood, stretched. paid my tab and then headed out to face the day... or rather face my bed. I was headed straight home to pass out and hopefully start fresh tomorrow. Find a purpose that I just didn't seem to have.
On the way home I checked my phone again...and again...and again. That is, between various sad Taylor Swift songs that the universe and whatever shitty radio dj felt would be appropriate to bombard me with. Abby still hadn’t responded. She fucking hated me, she had to. I can’t say I really blame her. I swooped her into a relationship that I didn't have time for. I devoted everything to that shitty job, and in the end I didn't end up with either her or the job.
Pulling up and getting out of the car. I walked up to my apartment. I went to put in the key but the door creaked open. My first thought went to burglar, the second rapist, and the third murderer. My fourth thought was that all of those things aren't mutually exclusive and that ,more than likely, if I go in here I’m dead.
I’m not sure if it was the beer or the general disdain I felt for myself in that moment, but I was feeling pretty thoroughly fucked as it was so I decided to not be a punk for once and go in.
The living room was trashed. Everything was strewn across the floor with as little care as possible. Pictures were smashed, couches tipped and rugs cut up. The only thing that was still perfectly in tact was the computer desk...and it was playing a video.
At first I didnt notice what the video was. The destruction around me was a lot to take in. It wasn’t until - PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTT - that I realized what was playing.
The asian girl on the screen moaned as her asshole puckered. Her slave behind her sniffed as hard as he could at the gift he was given. She held him in place and gave him another.
PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
I ran over to the desktop as fast as i could and closed the video.
BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRAP
The bassy emission caught me off guard. I looked over my shoulder only to realize the tv was playing one of my dvds. A spanish girl on the screen gestured for me to jack my dick to her farts, reminding me that the rice and beans her abuela cooked for her made this all possible.
I grabbed the remote off of the floor and turned the tv off.
“Hey asshole, did I say turn that off? How do you know I wasn’t watching that.”
I spun at the sound of her voice. Abby strolled out of my bedroom as nonchalant as could be. As if nothing was wrong. At first I wanted to scream at her. Breaking in and destroying my apartment because we have an argument is completely psycho! Then it dawned on me.
The rage on my face turned to shock. Then from shock to obvious humiliation. As my face changed so did hers. This devilish smile formed as she saw me putting everything together. My fart fetish was a secret that I thought I kept well hidden, though clearly not well enough.
“I- I can explain.” I stammered, though I had no way of really doing so. How do you tell your significant other that you like farts. The smell of them. The sound of them. The taste of them. The answer is you don't, but here I was.
“Honestly, what is there to explain? I clearly found everything I need here to put two and two together.” She gestured at the spanish girl ripping ass on the tv and then to my dick. “You go into the bathroom every night and beat your dick to this instead of fucking me.”
I decided the best bet here was to try to save face. Sure, I was a fart loving freak but breaking in made her a criminal! I took a few steps toward our bedroom but she cut me off.
“Get out of the way!” I yelled, trying to man up.
“Sounds like you think you’re in charge here? Tiny dick, no job, and delusional.” She rolled her eyes as she tore me down. “How’d I get so lucky?”
“That’s a low blow Abby-” I lamented.
“Lower than sniffing ass, waiting for the tiniest puff of gas so you can get your jollies?” Her words stung. I hung my head in shame. “ So I originally came here to wreck your shit. Mission accomplished, right? Then I was gonna break up with your sorry ass, but now I’m thinking of a different arrangement.”
PPPPPPPPPPPPPPRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAPPPP
“Sniff.” She demanded. The order came fast and sharp.
“What?” I couldn’t believe she was doing this. That any real woman would do this. That a woman would break into my house and demand that I sniff her anal emission was--HOT AS FUCK!
I sniffed hard. The smell went straight to my dick as it shot up.
“Wow, you really do like this shit. So pathetic. Alright on your knees.” I had never seen this side of Abby before. Now that she knew she was in control, it seemed like she could be herself. This seemed natural.
I looked around confused. She stared at me for a moment before slapping me across the face. I snapped back to reality and dropped to my knees.
“Before I break up with you, and I am going to break up with you, we’re going to help each other. See, I’m gonna make a dream of yours come true, and then you’re going to do the same for me. One time offer. You’ll do what I say and when we’re done I’m gonna walk out of that door and out of your life. But I’ll guarantee you never forget me. Deal?”
I nodded. It was all I could get out. My head was spinning. This was like a scene in some crazy erotica but here it was happening to me. Abby grinned and then pulled down her skin tight black leggings. Her ample ass spilled out, accentuated by a purple g string. She swayed it back and forth like a happy puppy wagging its tail when it gets what it wants. The sight was hypnotizing. I always did love her ass, it was the first thing I noticed about her.
She pulled the g string to the side revealing her beautiful asshole. I had stuck my tongue in there plenty of times. Sometimes, I’d rim her for an hour though it never seemed she was particularly into it. Every time I’d be tongue deep in her ass she would make it seem like she was doing me a favor. As if she was doing me a service by squeezing my tongue with her sphincter. She was but that was beside the point.
“Inhale.” Another order barked. I did so dutifully pulling in as much air as I could, waiting for her ass to taint it for me.
PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTT
PPPPPPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFT
A jolt went through my nasal passages and down my entire body. It smelled better and worse up close than I ever could have imagined.
“Stick your tongue in there. Let me grip it with my ass hole one last time.”she laughed as she talked. She was enjoying humiliating me and so was I. I dove into her and buried my tongue in her stinky hole. Her cheeks enveloped my face. I could feel her tighten her entire ass around my face as she flexed repeatedly over my tongue. “You never tasted a fart before, have you? I hope it’s everything you dreamed of.”
BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAP
The monster emission made my cheeks puff before the gas rolled down my throat to my lungs. I attempted to pull away but she held m in place. I moaned loudly into her ass.
“What was that. You want more? Pull out your pathetic dick and jerk it. Show me how much you want more.”
I had never said I’d wanted more, but the sealed link between my mouth and her asshole must’ve allowed her to read my mind. I finally freed my penis from my pants and jerked fervently.
PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAPPP
I was in bliss. Rimming Abby’s ass was always a pleasure but her farts were a magnificent bonus. I continued to swirl my tongue as her gas , having nowhere else to go seeped into my lungs. I was delirious but still surprised when my tongue touched the tip of something hard.
“Hey remember you said you’d make my dream come true….” She asked as the bittter, creamy shit forced its way into my mouth. My tongue was forced to retreat and my cheeks forced to expand. She had let so much shit go in so little time. Her grip on my head tightened as I tried to move back. “Hey!! Hey!!” She yelled as I struggled to free myself from her ass and spit out the shit. No luck. “We had a deal. I made your dream come true. I farted down your throat. And now I’m shitting down it. That’s my dream. You might as well stop fighting and keep jacking that dick like you know you want to. I struggled for a bit more before swallowing my first mouthful. “That’s it. Swallow it. Consider this the last time I ever make dinner for you.”
Her continued shaming made me hot. I nod my head while in her ass before grabbing my dick again. I loved the smell of her ass, the smell of her farts, but this….this was a million times more intense and I could feel the stink radiating from inside me. I got one mouthful down which she dutifully replaced with another. She pushed my head back and turned around to admire her work. I continued to jack off, dazed and confused.
“You’re such a shit head loser, you know that. Everybody told me so when we started dating but I didn’t believe them. Now look at you. Dont worry, I wont tell anybody about how I shit in your mouth and made you eat it. How you sat on your knees and took it, jerking off all along the way. I won’t even tell them how it made you cum harder than you ever have before. You are going to cum harder than you ever have before, arent you?”
PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAP
She farted again and I reactively sniffed. With my mouth stained brown and my stomach full, Abby’s intestinal outburst drove me to my breaking point. I came all over the floor and with my orgasm over, came the wave of shame.
“I’ll think of you next time I’m taking a shit.” Abby pulled her pants up and spit on me as she walked out. “Bye loser.”