Women Unify!
by American Wonton

WARNING. THIS CONTAINS THE USUAL AMERICAN WONTON CONTENT! READER DISCRETION ADVISED!

I think Mary planted the seeds of my anti-feminist ideals. Granted, she was a privileged influence. Privileged beauty, thin-athletic privilege, not to mention white privilege...come to think of it, I was privileged just to be with her.

“Ow, fuck!” Her and I giggled; the exclamation was highly applicable as we rolled naked on her dorm carpet. Mary rolled on her side, wincing and giggling as I pulled the disposable pencils stuck to her back...and her asscrack. FFFRRRRTTLLUUUPPTTT! “Oh whoops, sorry!” she exclaimed. The bubbly fart shook her cheeks and brushed my hand as I grabbed the pencil from beneath. She didn’t find me inhaling the gnarly nacho cheese she had for lunch off the end of the lead. I sighed, staring at her long brunette hair, almost touching her asscrack. We weren’t going to get back to our homework for awhile.

Mary acknowledged consent by reaching back and pulling me towards her. “Mary, is it okay if I enter you phallically, being of sound mind and bo-” PPPTTRRRAAAPPTTTT! “Oh gross!” she said, her booty cutting me off. “Yes Marcus, come on!” She was irritated and I was agitated I had to ask her. Total romance kill-stupid Feminism. I moved around her thigh gap,(so very few idealized females had) and curled my boner around to her vagina...whence, I entered. “Oh, ya...yes!” Good, I could count that as commutative consent. I thrusted upward, hoping to hit her clitorous for maximum pleasure. BBBRRRRTTTTTT! FFLLAAABBBOOORRFFFFF! “Oh ya...sorry...whew…”. Through my euphoric thrusting her booty continued to leak it’s gaseous essence on my stomach. I didn’t mind it,(nor shouldn’t I). If I was being honest, I loved it. PPTTLLRRRRRRFFFFFF! The bacon wrapped hotdog she grabbed after practice reverbed off my tummy and into my nose. She moaned, this time forgetting to acknowledge her flatulence. I savored the taste of Mary; her farts reigned liberated and free, a woman in total control of her image and body. I stared down at her glowing white buttcheeks as they jiggled with my cock close by. PPSSSOOORRRRRTTTTTT! In a millisecond I exited; the fart flew on my head before I could go back in. It was so warm, so full of eggy, putrid taste. There was no ignoring that one. “God, sorry,” Mary said exasperated. “I don’t know what’s gotten into me but it’s sure coming out- whoa…”

I lept down, my face buried in her asscrack. I didn’t know if Mary was protesting, if I was a rapist in disguise....but I went for it. My tounge entered her butthole, tasting the sewage sweetness; my hands pulled double duty, separating an asscheek and clawing her vagina with the other. BBSSSAAARRRPPPTTTT! Mary exclaimed and farted cautiously, too excited to apologize. I was doing my job. My vagina hand gripped the tip of her vagina with two fingers while my thumb went upward and inward for the clitoris, just as I was instructed in Feminine Sex ed with Xis Bradaldi. My tounge still flittered, aware of it’s job to do. FFBBBLLOORRRRAABBTTT! “Ohhh, my...shit!” It tasted as such, but I tongued away. In a manner of seconds, I felt Mary’s vaginal ooze run across my hand. Mission complete.

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After that, it was hard for us to go back to one’s and zero’s, all the stupid theology lessons and that. Mary and I spooned on her bed, just talking, enjoying each other’s company. “That was...crazy, what you did earlier.” she said, turning round to kiss my forehead. “Where did you learn that?” I sighed. “Xis Bradaldi had me practice on a few of her students. It was last semester, you must have missed it.” “God, she’s such a bitch! I hate that cunt. She gave me a D on a paper just because I wrote about my...I dunno, “gas problem” to see if my doctor could take it away.” BBBBLLTTRRRPPPP! “Huhhhh...sorry.” I reached around her asscrack, kneading her asscheeks, hoping it’d alleviate some pressure for more farts. “You shouldn’t talk about Xis Bradaldi that way. Women have it rough, and you shouldn’t be forced to-” Mary pinched my lips shut. “No one’s ‘forcing’ me to do anything. Farts are disgusting, boy or girl. People can have problems, but that doesn't mean you should have to lick their asshole and worship them for it.” PPAAAAABBRRRAAATTT! “Ugh jesus! See what I mean? Gross!”

I shivered as her angry fart pounded against my fingers. The words just exited, without thought. “What if...what if you like...a girl’s gas, though? Does that make you...a pervert?” Mary held a quizative look...just before she smiled at me. “Was that what that was about? Are you doing this for-what, extra credit?” BBRRLLRRRBBBBBBTTT! “Scuze me,” Mary said sarcastically. “God no, fuck Bradaldi...she smells like a cow buttfucked an elephant.” Mary laughed at my joke. “I’m serious! It’s just, well, given the right girl, I-”. I should have shut up right then and there...but Mary’s farts dwelled just overhead, mesmerizing me. It seemed like a dream when she sat up, then down, right on my chest. I gasped as her asscheeks were spread, a cute, puckering brown hole popping up to greet me. “You know I don’t think we got you off earlier.” she said, smiling behind at me. FFFRRRRRRRTTTTTTT! “Ohhh, excuse my stinky girl privilege,” she said, giggling and tossing her booty closer. “Do I have your permission to do this?”

Mary gave me my first blowjob, from her, and I geuss from any girl. It wasn’t perfect, but the backend was beautiful. PPLLLLAAATTTT! BBRRROOOOOTTTT! “Ohhh,” she sighed, dipping her mouth back around in a gentle sucking motion. As the gnarly pig-end smell blasted continually, I made up my mind then and there to speak to Bradaldi about my future as a Feminist.

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Xiss Bradaldi was apparently already awaiting me when I entered her office. I recoiled at the sight of her naked body sitting in the office chair. “What? Not the ideal, cis-gendered ideal you’re accustomed to, pig?! Get in here!” I shut the door behind me. Xiss Bradaldi coated the room with a harsh ripping fart. BBRRRLLLRRAAPPBBLLLTT! I covered my nose; her farts were a stark contrast to Mary’s, full of harsh tofu and local produce vegetables that gave it a lasting rank odor. “Yes, take it in you fartboy cis-scum.” Bradaldi repeated. “This is what a real women smells like! What a real woman looks like!” Again, a harsh contrast as Bradaldi stood. She was over 250 pounds, with saggy tits and a large, hefty waste. I averted my eyes from her vaginal area, coated with some slimy funk and sweat nested in years of unshaved pubic hairs. “Chair, NOW FARTBOY!” she screamed. I wondered if this was an everyday occurrence and if the nearby staff could here. She grabbed my shoulders, thrusting me into the rank chair. It smelt disgusting, haven taken years off her Trader Joe yogurt diets. Before I could free myself, she was upon me.

Underneath her ass was always a horrific ideal. I squirmed as her asshole puttered outward. PTTUUTRLLRRRBBBUUTTT! The fleshy pink asshole was betrayed by shit she obviously couldn’t reach to wipe. I gagged and she sighed, enjoying her conquest over the cis-male patriarchy below. “I’ve heard some horrible things about you, Marcus. My educated side wishes me to disbelieve them. But now, I’ve been given proof and trust me, I am horribly horribly triggered. And THAT upsets my stomach!” FFFRRTTUURRLLLLTTTTT! She was woman, hear her roar. Another hot, milky toot sent me into spirals. There was no room to breath anything else; I usually just took it, knowing full well I couldn’t overcome the 100 plus pounds of ass fat covering every inch of my skull and neck. BBBLLLLLAAAAAPPPTTRRRRR! Her asshairs tickled my mouth as she spoke. “Misogynist outreach, perverted scare tactics, and higher authority outreach! You think those corporate bastards at the school give a shit what you or I think?” she screamed. “I was-just trying to...voice my opinions…” I managed to get out. FFLLLLLOOOOOPPPTTT! She didn’t think talking to the school’s superintendent about her behavior was a good idea. “Women get paid ¾’ths of what you do for the same labor, so by that merit, your opinion matters a fourth of a woman's! If you are not for us, you’re against us, Marcus!” PPPPRRSSSSSSSSSSS! I gagged under my cultural appropriation of her hot curry soup fart. “Ah, speaking of real women, here’s one now!”

Cherrell Bankard was a young black student in Xiss Bradaldi’s class. Although her parents made a combined income over half a million a year, Xiss Bradaldi took her under her wing for “a colored female perspective”. Lucky me, she was also Mary’s roommate. Fuck. “Thank you Xiss Bradaldi! I’m sorry if my photos of his phallus triggered you. Hard to think such an offensive mansplainer could tuck something so tiny underneath!” she sneered. FFLTTUUURRRRTTTTTT! They both giggled at Bradaldi’s gnarly fart, adding insult to injury. “Since you’ve taken upon yourself to soil your classmate’s room, I’ve allowed Cherrell to add a little soilet of her own.” Bradaldi rose and Cherrell entered. I whimpered, tightening my mouth as she turned around. “Oh my-HE’S RESISTING MY CULTURED PERSPECTIVE XISS BRADALDI!” A swift testicle kick from Bradaldi proved otherwise. My mouth opened and Cherrell took her seat.

She wasn’t as large or as smelly as Xiss Bradaldi, but her toot cannon was capable of packing a punch. BBBRRLLFFFFFFFFFFFFTT! “Hah! Do you like the taste of Belgian chocolate and fish, fartboy! European is so cultured compared to ours!” said Cherrell. Then she grunted-and I tasted it all. The shit was soft and fluent, like an ice cream dispenser of hell. FLLLRRTTRUUUTTTT! I groaned in protest; it was horrendous and I wanted to puke, save for the continued sludge still pouring into my stomach. Xiss Bradaldi held her foot on my balls the whole ordeal. “That’s right fartboy, you eat all of it. I’ll leave Cherrell to educate you. Her parents probably don’t want her using the cis-colored toilet paper, so you lick her beautiful brown butthole clean when you’re done! I’m going to talk to those dickhead suits upstairs. I expect a full thesis on your privileged experience by this friday!” BBBRRROOOFFFFTTTTT! I could only moan in response as Cherrell’s soft shart capped off the first round. She bent down to slap my balls-now I was going to taste some african bean soup for my cultural experience.

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Thank god no one else wanted to share a dorm with that “creepy fart feminist kid”. After two showers and a mound of mouthwash and Tums, I simply lay in the dark crying on my bed. What was I thinking, trying to change a system I obviously didn’t understand? I jumped and wiped my eyes when my door opened-Mary. “Hey, you weren’t answering your phone. I know I’m not supposed to be in here but I found this mo-”. She turned the lights on my room and her face drooped. “Marcus were you-?” She stopped, placing the movie on my drawer; of course I was crying. She walked over and hesitated. FFFLLLLRRRRUUTTTTT! “Uh god sorry. The team wanted to go out for pizza after practice.” I smelt hit, the spicy pepperoni mixed with a stale cheesy fart. It brought a smile to my face...then a frown. “It’s okay,” I said, trying my hardest to clear my throat at a cheery level. Mary sighed, bringing her stink to my bedside. “No, it’s not ok. Bradaldi?” What was the point? I mopely nodded my head.

I read somewhere that females gave off natural comforting hormones to men when around. Bradaldi disregarded such research as misogynistic biology, with no real application in the real world. I’m glad she was wrong on that one. BBBBLLLLLRRRRRRRRRR-PPRRAAAPPSSSSSSS! Mary sighed as her dual pizza farts breezed into my face. Despite the horrid taste of Bradaldi in my mouth, the rank breeze and soft cheeks brought me deep comfort. I was buried face deep in Mary’s naked bottom, where she pushed me deeper. PPFFFFFFFRRSSSSSSSSS! Her cute little pucker massaged my nose and I took deep inhales of it’s intoxicating flavor, running my hands along her booty. Mary sighed, lowering the volume on my TV she was watching. “Don’t you worry Marcus. Bradaldi is gunna get hers, don’t you worry.” BBRRLLLLUULLLLPPPTTTBBBBB! “Ahhh...ohhhh.” I was too invested in Mary’s moans and stinky tones to worry about that now.