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Dealership Shuttle
Author: Closet Fetishist

Written: August 31st, 2016


It was late in the afternoon when I got the call that my car was ready at the dealership. I told them I needed a ride back; they said they'd send someone right away.

In about twenty minutes, the courtesy shuttle was here. I hop inside.

"Hi, thanks," I say, buckling up.

"Hi," the driver replies politely before shifting into drive and setting off.

We drive in silence but, along the way, I notice an odd gurgling sound; must be something under the hood. I look to the driver to see if she heard it but she just looks a bit uncomfortable.

Then, within a few seconds, I start to get the odor of something rancid; like eggy and veggie smell. Was it her? It certainly wasn't me!

I try to hide covering my nose, to avoid offending her.

PRRrrruppp!

I hear a bubbly, popping sound under her seat by I don't look to her, I try to just avoid it and pinch my nose a little harder.

God why can't this thing go any faster!

She shifts...prrrrppp!

I'm starting to get upset now; I look to her after that but she ignores my gaze.

"Excuse me," I say.

"Yes?" She answers.

"Uh...you just keep farting in here! At least open the windows."

"Oh, we have to keep those locked; part of our insurance."

"Bullshit, open these windows, now!"

"I can't."

BRRRRrrraaaaauuuupppppp!

"Oh my god! Well can you at least stop farting?!"

"I can't help it sir,"

"Yes, you fucking can!"

"Don't fucking talk to me like that!"

"I'll talk to you any way I damn want!"

PRRRrrrpppp!

"Stop farting!"

"No, fuck you!"

BRRrrraaaauuupppp!

"Are you purposely farting now?!"

She just smiles, leans over to me and PRRRrrraaaauuupppppp!

"Oh my god, stop!!!" I beg out, my eyes watering profusely from the wretched smell. I desperately try for the door handle but nothing happens when I pull it."

She chuckles, "Also child locked while moving."

I look ahead at the road, when are we going to get to that damn dealership...oh thank god, red light, maybe I can open the door now.

I reach over but I feel a force on my head as she grabs a fist full of my hair and pulls my head down near her seat.

"Oh god no..."

I can already smell the putrid stink around her seat, her fart blasts soaked deep into the fabric and could probably would never not stink of farts.

She unbuckles her belt with one hand and shoves my head under the ties before rebuckling her seat belt.

"There now," she says, "now you've got a front row seat to all my smells," she laughs.

She leans her butt crack straight over your face and BRRRRRRRRRRrrraaaauuuuuupppp!

"Oh god, that was so big; are you smelling it down there?" She asks, proudly.

"Please stop!" I cry out; smelling the worst of her intestinal distress, up close and personal to the source.

"Awww, why would I do that?"

Out of the corner of my eye, I see the tall dealership sign and breath a sigh of relief that this ordeal is finally over.

But then we don't stop...

"Uh, wasn't that the dealership?"

"Yup."

PRRRrrraaaaaauuuupppppp!

Oh god! She's gonna kill me!

"Please, don't kill me!"

She laughs out loud, "Kill you? With a few farts? I doubt it. Though you'll probably wish you were dead."

BRRRRRRRrrraaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuppppppp!

"Please! No!!" I scream as a huge whiff of her gas flows up my nostrils, burning them painfully and making me dizzy as I struggled to breathe; heaving and choking on noting but pure fart air for the past...however long it's been.

"I do usually like to talk on these trips so why don't you tell me what my farts smell like; see if you can guess what I ate."

"Please no!" I beg.

"I said guess! Here, take another sample!"

"No please!!"

PRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRFFFFFFFFURRRRRPPPPTTTTTTT!

"Ahhhh, that was a real nice one; inhale all of it and then tell me what it smells like. Come on, big breaths!"

I take heaving, desperate breaths of her putrid fart air; the distinct odor of eggs and spinach hanging in the air.

"Well?" She asks, demanding.

"Uh...omelette, egg and spinach omelette?"

"Ooooh, so close."

BRRRRRrrrraaaaaauuuuuupppp!

She wastes no time blasting my face with a fart like a buzzer on a game show.

"Well, unfortunately I have another pick up so I guess I have to drop you off..."

PRRrrrppp!

"It's been fun. And, of course, I have your address now so you can expect me to stop by sometime very soon."

Oh god...would she do that?!

Finally, we stop in the service center driveway; for a few seconds...she does nothing.

"Please, just let me go!" I beg.

She laughs and unbuckles her belt; I pull my head away quickly, I open the door and weakly stumble out of the car, falling onto the ground in front of several people. None are very helpful in asisting me back up.

"Ooh, be careful," she says from inside the car, smiling politely now.

I wave softly.

"I'll see you again soon," she calls out to me from inside the car.

I shudder and look back at her. She winks.

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