Courtesy Clerk
by GiveMetheGoodSucc.

So this story takes place at my work, I work at a Smith’s grocery store. So I was working a later shift there, a 4-10 shift if I remember right. I work as a “Courtesy Clerk”, pretty much just bagging groceries, collecting shopping carts out in the parking lot, and so forth. So its about 9:15, give or take, the store is practically empty (it was either a wednesday or tuesday if I remember right, so it was totally dead). I’m just hanging out at one of the checkstands talking with this cashier, Jude.

Jude was pretty chill. Heavy set but not abnormally fat, very short, bit of a temper, and so on. We were just sorta complaining about work, per the norm with me and her.

Then this lady walks up to the checkstand with a full cart. We start checking out her stuff, i start loading her bags and everything, and I couldn’t help but do a quick once-over. She had blonde hair, sorta tough looking face if that makes sense, and she was wearing these tight grey athletic leggings. She didn’t have an astounding ass but assuming she was in her mid-to-late thirties, it was pretty good. Sorta that upside down heart shape and a good size.

So I get about halfway through her order I smell what is unmistakably a fart. It was that sort of generic fart smell, didn’t smell like a certain food or anything, maybe a bit carby, but just a standard farty smell. It was very thick too, it sort of hung in the air and actually ended up sticking around for a few minutes. Of course, considering it was just me and 2 women, I knew one of the two was the culprit. And considering the smell had reached me, standing about 6 or 7 feet away, I knew it had to have been a bigass fart. I bagged the rest of the groceries, thanked the lady for shopping with us, yadda yadda, and she left.

The second she was out of earshot, Judy came over to me and whispered “Was that you?” I asked her what she meant and she said she was referring to the smell.

I said it wasn’t me and Jude just scoffed. “So then that lady just gassed out my checkstand.” I just said I guess so.

We left the checkstand to let it air out a bit and I went and did some go-backs for a while. When I came back the smell was, of course, gone, but the implications that one of those two women just cracked off a mammoth fart right there in the checklane was pretty nice.

Also fun fact, the woman with the groceries bought 3 cans of Stagg’s chili. Just a thought.