Her Best Friend
by Slave Fart

100% true. Took a few days to write though. Work is nuts.

---

It's early Sunday morning and i'm lying on the floor of my own bathroom wondering how my life has lead to this moment. It wasn't even supposed to go like this, but my Saturday night ended up being much different than i anticipated to bring me here.

Three friends text me and i look at my phone, seeing an invitation to the club. i thought "fuck it" and took a cab over.

After grabbing some drinks, one of my buddies starts chatting up a girl and she brings over her friends. One of whom is my ex girlfriend's best friend, Clare...

"Hey there! How are you doing," She asks.

"i am... Um... Doing well," i stammer.

"How do you two know each other," Her friend asks.

"Through an old friend, actually," She said with a laugh.

We started talking about normal things like She hadn't farted in my face once before and like She didn't know my ex girlfriend took a steaming hot shit in my mouth on a few occasions. She started cracking jokes...

"Wshew! your breath stinks! Man, it smells like someone took a shit in there," She was cracking Herself up.

The night carried on and one my friends took home one of Clare's, and then there was a hand on my shoulder.

She slurred with confidence the entire time She spoke, "Look, i know you and Kate ended, and here's the thing, I want to do it. To you. I want to do that thing. I wanted to do it a while back, and She said no, and then She lost a bet and had to let me rip ass in your face and then I dropped ass right up your fucking nose and well... Well I wanted to take a shit right then and there. Just shit on your face. I want to make you eat my fucking shit."

Kate had told me as much, and it was all part of the reason we broke up. Kate pierced me with it all, and i ended up breaking things off because She wanted to just turn things vanilla. i couldn't go back to never eating shit again, i am what i am... i am a toilet... Which prompted me to say, "Yes."

That was it.

"Yes."

Just a single word put my whole head in a whirl.

And then we were in a cab and the world was spinning around me.

i looked over to Her and She smiled. The weather was awful, a wintery mix of rain and snow. She was nowhere near dresses for the occasion in Her tight jeans and revealing top. She belched intensely loud.

"Sorry, fucking beer. Drank like, I dunno... 30? Maybe less..."

It had to be less, She wasn't big enough to put down 20, let alone 30. But then when we got out of the cab and into the elevator...

"On yer knees... Gotta fart."

i shook my head, there's a camera in there. She slapped me incredibly hard...

"If you don't do everything I fucking say, you little bitch," Her hand was on the back of my head, pulling me into Her ass like i'd seen Peter Griffin do to Meg. And then a disgusting, bassy fart filled the elevator with Her stink.

"Jesus, Clare," She slapped me again...

"Fucking... you fucking slave... you call me Master, bitch."

i'd been hit before, but never this much and this hard. Clare really wasn't thinking about me at all. She really was being 100% selfish in the entire endeavor. It was incredibly hot in a way i'd never felt.

And here's where i'll elaborate a bit, you can move on to the --- ahead if you don't care about my background and thinking with this, but i write these stories down so you can live it a little bit with me.

When anyone has used me as their toilet, it's usually a girlfriend. There are some obvious exceptions like Corrin and Pink Shorts, but that's a recent development. i suck at being a toilet, because eating shit is fucking disgusting. But i do my best and i don't throw up on them, so that's all i can hope for.

But then when Clare hit me, it was like... i feel like with Pink Shorts or Corrin i could probably get away with not eating their shit at the outset, but Clare was not going to have it. i was eating Clare's shit regardless of what i wanted at this point. Clare was going to use me as Her toilet and that was the end of it. Period.

It was an intense feeling, and i thought about trying to pull out of the situation because of how horrible Her fart was. Corrin's shit was worse, but that's it. Clare's fart was the second worst thing i'd ever smelled, and here She was going to escalate it by shitting in my mouth whether or not i wanted it... The humiliation burned my face. It felt like my head was on fire.

Was i really this pathetic? The answer, of course, is what i'd said to Clare earlier... "Yes."

---

She was drunk off beer and belched in my ear as i fumbled with my keys.

"I am gonna take a HUGE shit in your mouth. It's gonna be all over your fucking face," She was speaking so loud, and the stench of stale beer wafted into my nose.

"Please, not so loud, my neighbors will hear."

"yOUR NEIGHBORS ARE GONNA HEAR ME SAY I'M GOING TO TAKE A MONSTER FUCKING DUMP RIGHT IN yOUR MOUTH?!"

i got the keys into the lock fast and shoved the door open... i was fucking furious with Her.

"Who do You think You---", and She slapped me again.

"If you think you're talking to Me like that, you have another thing coming..."

She pulled off Her jeans and with the angriest eyes i had ever seen, She commanded with a shriek, "Get your mouth on My sweaty fucking asshole. NOW!"

i dropped to my knees and scrambled. i didn't want to get hit again, and i had to confess that i've never been more turned on. This authority was real, not contrived. She truly felt this power over me. And i gave it to Her...

i sucked on Her sweaty asshole for ten minutes and She granted me with three farts that could probably have peeled the paint off my walls had they not gone through my lungs as a filter.

BAROUUMMMFFFFF. BRRRRRPPPPTTTFFFFFFF. With each blast, the heat level rose and the sour stench filled my olfactory senses to the brim with stink.

"Go... Get in your fucking bed..."

i went to the bathroom first to brush my teeth, and when i got there She came in behind me.

"What? Are you fucking deaf? Is this for fucking real? I said go get in your fucking bed, nimwit. I am in here to brush My teeth, expecting the fucking toilet mouthed loser to do what I commanded, but no... No, you're fucking right here. So here," She grabbed my tooth brush out of my hand and stuck the bristles up Her asshole like a dildo, "Now you can brush your teeth with the inside of my colon."

i oblige, brushing my teeth with Her shit and grab Her a fresh toothbrush. She stares daggers at me while i left...

i put my head on my pillow and She comes into the room, completely naked. Her breasts are saggy and altogether unspectacular without the magic of a pushup bra, but then She turns and points Her ass my way as She pulls Her jeans off... Her ass isn't small, but it's not huge. It's muscular and toned, but nothing outrageous. It's the way that Her ass looks, though... It's really something.

She climbs into bed and hits me in the stomach.

"Sleep with your face by My butt. I'm going to rip beer farts all night. In the morning you can eat this beer shit I'm going to take. It's gonna be nasty as fuck."

And so it begins, a four hour fart fest. She sleeps for a short night and wakes me up, but for four hours i am stuck here, my face between Her ass cheeks. Each fart is just the same raunchy stench and i am being dutch ovened non-stop.

She says nothing, and in those four hours i can't decide what is more humiliating: When She is awake and berating me or physically hitting someone more than twice Her size into being Her slave, or the four hours i spend sniffing and smelling rancid FRSSSSHHH BRRRRRRPPPPPPTTTTT FSSSSSSSSS-S-S-SSS---SSSSSSSSSSSSSSTTTHHHHH without Her commanding a single order...

One particularly nasty fart got my attention to the pathetic nature of it all. It sounds like a dying animal releasing everything in it's system, but it is just a nasty fart from this beautiful red head's ass right in my face. The smell is so sour that my scrunched up face could tell the story that someone is truly the slave while someone else is truly the owner.

Clare starts stirring early, it's roughly 6 am. She says, simply, "Lick it."

i start tonguing at Her butthole like a deer on a salt lick.

She coos, noting that my tongue soothes Her "anus". i almost bust in my pants at being used as a complete slave.

After about ten minutes of ass licking, She orders me to go down to the 24-hour cafe and get Her a bagel, a croissant, and a coffee. She makes me use my own money...

When i get back the camping toilet was set up in my bathroom. i see it as i bring my Master breakfast in bed.

"Slave, it's gonna be right after breakfast. Go get in position."

She was giggling and i knew She found it all funny. She told Kate it was awesome and She wanted to try. Now is Her chance.

The sound of bare feet on the tile alert me to my Master entering.

"Master, please shit in my mouth."

She put Her lips into an "O" and exhale with pleasure.

Her body turned around and i watch Her ass descend. There's a very small fart that escapes, it pops. The smell is horrific and She is laughing intensely loud.

"DO yOU SMELL THAT?! That is a single fart... And it is SMALL. Holy hell..."

Without any further fanfare, a very thick, dense log of shit explodes from Her asshole, spreading it wide. Seeing a User's anus open to deposit Their shit into your mouth is intense. Every single time, i feel the immense wave of embarrassment. This time though, it was fierce...

This time it's the smell of something from a demon. Clare can't even handle Her own waste and puts Her hands over Her face.

"Oh my god... EAT IT! EAT MY SHIT! EAT IT FASTER! MY SHIT SMELLS HORRIBLE, SO yOU NEED TO EAT IT FASTER!!!"

i try my best, but the smell is other worldly... i get about 6 inches down before i realize there's another 4 inches to go. She sits back down above me and rockets a monstrous fart that sounds like Her colon has a duck trapped inside.

BROUCKKUCUCKK

Her shit sprays all over, the splatter is on my floor and my face and in my nose... i smell nothing but Her shit.

Her turd is almost gone, but She re-supplies me with another, i can't see anything at this point because my eyes are shut with Her spray fart. The smell is getting to both of us, but She's the Master and i am the slave, so the stench is literally my world.

i chew as quickly as i can and She notes the smell again.

"I can't fucking take it, oh my god... And yet there you lie. Just eating it... Loser."

Then i hear a rumble, and with a mouth full of Her shit, i look up and see a strange liquid start to leak from Her asshole and with it comes a collection of bite sized turds. They are hitting me in the face, some in my mouth, but mostly the liquid going in my nose and nothing but a the smell of pure evil coming into my being.

Clare actually sits up and walks to the toilet, laughing at me. She literally can't stop laughing, and i chew it all. i swallow the entire movement She's had.
She looks at me and turns on the shower, and tells me to get in.

i clean myself and wash up, only to be presented Her crack and dirty hole.

"Clean Me up.... boy." The words are harsh.

But i obey.

She says nothing more, puts on Her clothes, and my neighbor texts that a "real hottie left this morning. Way to go!"

Little does he know that my reality is far worse... Far more pathetic.

i am no man. i am a toilet.